"Children Need Both Parents" is about Family Preservation

Family Court Reports

 

"Parental Rights should be respected and protected by all." When legislation is passed in conjunction with acknowledging that the rights of parents to raise their own children should be respected and protected many key issues surrounding family court reform are addressed simultaneously.These issues affect everything from child welfare, home schooling, choice in vaccinations, profiling your children without your knowledge, medication choice, and more.

Lary Holland frequently writes about governmental policies that affect the family unit including, but not limited to, marriage, child support, child custody, paternity, false allegations, parental alienation, and child abuse. Some refer to him on the issues of Title IV-D, Title IV-E, and related areas of law. He is hardly an expert, just someone concerned with what is happening to the parent-child bonds across our nation.

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"Children Need Both Parents" is a key phrase that is used throughout various social and political circles, but with widely varying intentions. Reality and Research says, it should mean similarly equal parenting time between two biological parents. Be sure to use the phrase "Children Need Both Parents" to encourage your legislators to pass laws that respect and protect parental rights.

Model Language for Legislative Initiations/Constitutional Amendments
"Parents and Legal Guardians have a natural and fundamental right to direct the care, education, and upbringing of their children. No government action shall burden, abridge, or hinder this natural, fundamental right unless it is in furtherance of a compelling governmental interest and is the least restrictive means of furthering that compelling governmental interest."

The above model language can be introduced in states that allow legislative placement of Constitutional Amendments on a ballot. The above represents the core language that any State Rep could use for the purposes of introducing such an amendment that would leave the choice of parental rights protection to the general public.

Model Language for Legislative Shared Custody, Equal Custody, Parenting Time Statutes
IN A CUSTODY DISPUTE BETWEEN PARENTS, THE COURT SHALL ORDER JOINT CUSTODY WITH SUBSTANTIALLY EQUAL PARENTING TIME UNLESS EITHER OF THE FOLLOWING APPLIES:

(A)THE COURT DETERMINES BY CLEAR AND CONVINCING EVIDENCE THAT A PARENT IS UNFIT, UNWILLING, OR UNABLE TO CARE FOR THE CHILD.

(B)EITHER PARENT HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT CHARGE OR MISDEMEANOR/FELONY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHARGE.

The above model language can be modified or introduced "as is" in states that do not currently have increased protection for both parents "duling" parental rights. by increasing the evidentiary standard it will alleviate the strain the court has in determining the better parent and focus on protecting the parent-child relationships of both fit, willing, and caring bioligical parents.

Various Statistics on Benefits of Joint Custody/Related Areas

"This research discovers that children--especially daughters--benefit considerably when the parent they are not living with nevertheless does everyday things with the child, from 'shopping, reading, visiting, doing homework, watching TV together,' to 'spending holidays together.' The authors conclude that, for a school-age daughter, this 'doing everyday-type things together' with the parent she is not living with is the only predictor of psychological well-being. (K. Alison Clarke-Stewart and Craig Hayward, "Advantages of Father Custody and Contact for the Psychological Well-Being of School-Age Children," Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Vol. 17, No. 2, April-June 1996, p. 239.)

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"States with high levels of joint physical custody awards (over 30%) in 1989 and 1990 have shown significantly greater declines in divorce rates in following years through 1995, compared with other states. Divorce rates declined nearly four times faster in high joint custody states, compared with states where joint physical custody is rare. As a result, the states with high levels of joint custody now have significantly lower divorce rates on average than other states. States that favored sole custody also had more divorces involving children. These findings indicate that public policies promoting sole custody may be contributing to the high divorce rate." (John Guibaldi, D.Ed., "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US", 11th Annual Conference of the Children's Rights Council, OCT 23-26, 1997, Washington, D.C.).

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"Indeed, a large body of research overwhelmingly suggests children do best when they have both a mother and a father in their lives. Specifically, children whose fathers are involved in raising them do better in school, are less likely to get into trouble with the law, and are more likely to be better parents themselves." (Jayne Keedle, "Fathers Matter", The Hartford Advocate - http://www.hartfordadvocate.com/articles/fathersmatter.html).

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"Father-deprivation is a more reliable predictor of criminal activity than race, environment or poverty.

Father-deprived children are:

  1. 72% of all teenage murderers.
  2. 60% of rapists.
  3. 70% of kids incarcerated.
  4. twice as likely to quit school.
  5. 11 times more likely to be violent.
  6. 3 of 4 teen suicides.
  7. 80% of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals.
  8. 90% of runaways

Sources: National Fatherhood Initiative, US Bureau of Census, FBI

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"Father-deprivation is a serious form of child abuse that is institutionalized and entrenched within our legal system. Powerful sexist people in Canada have a vested interest in diminishing the role of men, especially their role as fathers. Research proves that children thrive with the active and meaningful participation of both biological parents, and is true even for post-divorce families." (Dick Feeman, Joseph Maiello, Mike Jebbet, "Child Custody or Child Abuse", Victoria Times-Colonist, Jan 8, 1998).

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"Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality."
Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics, Survey on Child Health, Washington, DC, 1993.

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"Teenagers living in single-parent households are more likely to abuse alcohol and at an earlier age compared to children reared in two-parent households."
Source: Terry E. Duncan, Susan C. Duncan and Hyman Hops, "The Effects of Family Cohesiveness and Peer Encouragement on the Development of Adolescent Alcohol Use: A Cohort-Sequential Approach to the Analysis of Longitudinal Data", Journal of Studies on Alcohol 55 (1994).

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"...the absence of the father in the home affects significantly the behavior of adolescents and results in the greater use of alcohol and marijuana."
Source: Deane Scott Berman "Risk Factors Leading to Adolescent Substance Abuse", Adolescence 30 (1995)

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A study of 156 victims of child sexual abuse found that the majority of the children came from disrupted or single-parent homes; only 31 percent of the children lived with both biological parents. Although stepfamilies make up only about 10 percent of all families, 27 percent of the abused children lived with either a stepfather or the mother's boyfriend.
Source: Beverly Gomes-Schwartz, Jonathan Horowitz, and Albert P. Cardarelli, "Child Sexual Abuse Victims and Their Treatment", U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justce and Delinquency Prevention.

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Researchers in Michigan determined that "49 percent of all child abuse cases are committed by single mothers."
Source: Joan Ditson and Sharon Shay, "A Study of Child Abuse in Lansing, Michigan", Child Abuse and Neglect, 8 (1984)

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"A family structure index -- a composite index based on the annual rate of children involved in divorce and the percentage of families with children present that are female-headed -- is a strong predictor of suicide among young adult and adolescent white males."
Source: Patricia L. McCall and Kenneth C. Land, "Trends in White Male Adolescent, Young-Adult and Elderly Suicide: Are There Common Underlying Structural Factors?" Social Science Research 23, 1994.

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" Fatherless children are at dramatically greater risk of suicide."
Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics, Survey on Child Health, Washington, DC, 1993.

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In a study of 146 adolescent friends of 26 adolescent suicide victims, teens living in single-parent families are not only more likely to commit suicide but also more likely to suffer from psychological disorders, when compared to teens living in intact families.
Source: David A. Brent, et al. "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder in Peers of Adolescent Suicide Victims: Predisposing Factors and Phenomenology.", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 34, 1995.

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"Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity."
Source: P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, "Fatherless Children", New York, Wiley Press, 1984.

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"In 1988, a study of preschool children admitted to New Orleans hospitals as psychiatric patients over a 34-month period found that nearly 80 percent came from fatherless homes."
Source: Jack Block, et al. "Parental Functioning and the Home Environment in Families of Divorce", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27 (1988)

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Kelly, Joan, Ph.D. : Further Observations on Joint Custody
University of California at Davis Law Review, Vol 16

We have learned that the ability to cooperate around parenting issues can be encouraged and enhanced with limited and relatively inexpensive education, counseling, or skillful mediation.
I am concerned about the position that argues that joint custody should not be awarded when parents do not agree.
In these cases it is almost always the woman who is opposed to joint custody. Women do not need to ask for, not agree to, joint custody. They are presumed by society, lawyers, the courts, and themselves to have a right to keep the children in their care and protection.
It is the father who must ask for joint custody and it is often in the mother's power to agree or disagree.
The mother's position is particularly enhanced if she knows that a refusal to share parenting with her spouse will preclude a joint custody order regardless of her reasons for denying joint custody.
In this context, it would be important to study women who refuse a request for joint custody.

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Potash, Marlin S., Ph.D. : Psychological Support for a Rebuttable Presumption of Joint Custody : Probate Law Journal, Vol. 4, 17, 1982

By presuming joint custody as early as possible in the court process, parties are impelled to attend to the child's needs, thereby encouraging mature behavior and discouraging divisive, childish conflict.
Shared parenting with mutual responsibility -- joint custody -- is in the best interest of the child, parents, society, and the court system. Those courts can assist the parents in settling their own disagreements by providing a context for negotiation and helping to mold specific child-centered joint custody agreements.

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Simring, A. Sue Klavans, Doctoral Candidate, Columbia University : Fathering in Joint Custody Families : A Study of Divorced and Remarried Fathers : Dissertation, 1984

The quality of the relationship between the mother and the father, especially at the time of separation, does not predict whether a joint custody arrangement can work.
If there is a legal and social expectation that parents must negotiate with each other, there is a higher likelihood that it will occur than if the expectation is that they are too embittered to even talk to one another.
Many fathers in conflictual situations stated that joint custody could be successful if the legal agreement specifically enumerated the responsibilities of each parent and did not depend on their good will towards each other as a means of resolving differences.
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Need for Friendly Parent requirement or Cooperation Order:

"The decision to keep the child with the mother is theoretically made in the best interests of the child; however, when children were surveyed later in life, fewer than half felt their mother's motives had anything to do with their best interests. Only a quarter felt it was because their mother loved them." (Glynnis Walker, Solomon's Children, NY: Arbor House, 1986, p. 89).

"Almost 40 percent of the custodial wives reported that they had refused at least once to let their ex-husbands see the children, and admitted that their reasons had nothing to do with the children's wishes or the children's safety, but were somehow punitive in nature." (Julie A. Fulton, "Parental Reports of Children's Post-Divorce Adjustment, Journal of Social Issues, Vol. 35, 1979, p. 133. Fulton reported that 53% of the non-custodial fathers claimed their ex-wives had refused to let them see their children).

"Research by Dr. Judith Wallerstein and Joan Berlin Kelly revealed that approximately 50 percent of mothers either saw no value in the father's contact with his children and actively tried to sabotage it, or resented the father's contact." (Wallerstein, Surviving the Breakup, HarperCollins , 1996, p.125).